Days seem to take so long to pass now that we have reached a decision. We decided that February would be the perfect time to try our first cycle of IUI. I hope that this will be our first and last cycle of IUI.
As the days drag, I become even more impatient. I can imagine the procedure, feel the joy at the positive pregnancy test, and embrace the impending changes due to motherhood. Who would have ever thought we would be anticipating the arrival of my next menstrual cycle. There is less than a month left before we can start the next phase in our journey. I am counting every second, minute, and hour.
The next phase will begin with the start of my menstrual cycle in early February. On the first day of my cycle, I must call and schedule an appointment for the third day of my cycle. On the third day of my cycle, they will do some blood work. I believe that it will be done to test for hormone levels etc. After this, I believe that my doctor will start me on a medicine routine for follicle growth that will last a couple of days. The size of the follicles will be monitored along with the number. Both are very important for the success of a child, or in the case of way too many follicles, multiples! I prefer multiples. I want babies to spoil and love, but my husband disagrees. The IUI price is currently $800, a special rate they are currently running. I love this price so I hope it carries into February.
This procedure looks to be our most successful chance at children. I am excited yet wary. I keep wondering if we are doing the right thing. What if we are rushing into things? I debate whether we are ready for a child. With the doctor appointments, I was just seeking a solution. I do not believe that I ever thought beyond finding that solution. I never thought beyond finding the answer then deciding the next step. I mean of course I want children. We are in this remarkable situation were we can choose when to have kids and I am indecisive about the right time. Now seems okay. We have been married two years, together seven years. We have maintained a place of our own for five of those years. I have received an undergraduate degree and he has attended some college. We own a car and possess decent jobs with ample room for promotion. More school is still in our futures, but finally our longing for a child seems to be too overwhelming. Everyone who I have spoken to about us having a child inquires about school. It feels as if they believe that my desire to go to medical school and become a physician assistant will forever be just that, a desire. It feels as though they believe that this one future child will ruin the plans I have for a career. I detest this implication. I am very determined. I feel as though I am destined to become a PA but also a mother. I am now simply changing the order because I place having a family in higher priority. My timeline of attending medical school may be pushed back a little, but I feel that with the support and knowing myself, I will be able to succeed in returning back to school. I only have a few classes left and I plan to take classes up until the baby is here. I value education so I believe that this will not be an issue. The real issue is money.
On top of the stress and lack of sleep, my concern centers around money. How much does it cost to raise a child, especially in the early years? How many weeks can I take off after the child is born? We will have to save money while spending money at the same time to prepare. I am going to have to compromise on my beautiful nursery that I had envisioned. I have to rethink that cruise that we want to take in July. I know that we will have to rework things, but for this I am willing to. I am willing to do a lot for the chance to become a mommy!!! I sincerely hope that we will be successful in managing our money. Any good tips out there?
~Until next time
Showing posts with label fertility tests. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fertility tests. Show all posts
Friday, January 10, 2014
Friday, January 3, 2014
Dreaming of Decisions
It is cold and the night is silent. The new year has started and I am dreaming of decisions. I dream about the nursery. I dream about your gender. I dream about your name, but most of all I dream about holding you.
We had our follow up appointment on the 31st. Our reproductive endocrinologist broke down the results. Basically, we are looking very good. Our age and the quality of eggs and sperm are amazing, with only time decreasing our numbers and success. He wrapped up the appointment by letting us know that the decision of when we are ready is up to us. We decide when and the IUI process can then begin.
I dream of failing and being punished for being so impatient. I dream of more struggles, sorrow, and anger. I dream that I will never become a mother. I dream that we are judged.
Being 22 and desperate makes me feel terrible. I am so young yet I write as if we have been struggling for decades. How do the older couples feel? The ones who have more severe problems compared to our minor problems. Do they judge us or join in praying for our future children? Will I lose this future child and future chances? Is this the path we are suppose to take? Who will support us?
I dream of discussing our fertility problems with my mother in law. I want so desperately to connect with her. I want to feel valuable and human. Will she care, stare in shock, or cry with happiness? Is she ready to be a grandmother?
I dream of deciding. I dream of the hours ticking pass and giving way to February. I dream of the IUI process, the two week wait, and the positive affirmation that I carry life in my womb. I dream of Willie's face filled with joy, pride, and so much love. I dream of nine blissful months giving way to a healthy, beautiful, and cherished child. Hopefully, I dream the truth of our future.
We had our follow up appointment on the 31st. Our reproductive endocrinologist broke down the results. Basically, we are looking very good. Our age and the quality of eggs and sperm are amazing, with only time decreasing our numbers and success. He wrapped up the appointment by letting us know that the decision of when we are ready is up to us. We decide when and the IUI process can then begin.
I dream of failing and being punished for being so impatient. I dream of more struggles, sorrow, and anger. I dream that I will never become a mother. I dream that we are judged.
Being 22 and desperate makes me feel terrible. I am so young yet I write as if we have been struggling for decades. How do the older couples feel? The ones who have more severe problems compared to our minor problems. Do they judge us or join in praying for our future children? Will I lose this future child and future chances? Is this the path we are suppose to take? Who will support us?
I dream of discussing our fertility problems with my mother in law. I want so desperately to connect with her. I want to feel valuable and human. Will she care, stare in shock, or cry with happiness? Is she ready to be a grandmother?
I dream of deciding. I dream of the hours ticking pass and giving way to February. I dream of the IUI process, the two week wait, and the positive affirmation that I carry life in my womb. I dream of Willie's face filled with joy, pride, and so much love. I dream of nine blissful months giving way to a healthy, beautiful, and cherished child. Hopefully, I dream the truth of our future.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)
Tomorrow is another appointment to discuss our options. Before the cruise, the doctor returned our call and basically told us that we would have to utilize IUI in order to become pregnant. We could still try normally, but the IUI is a very successful alternative for us. I know in several posts that I have mentioned IUI. In this post though, I would like to actually provide information on exactly what it is. I used the Attain website: http://attainfertility.com/ . I hope you all find this information very helpful. I thank Attain for providing this information on their website. Our doctor's office at REACH handed out an Attain IVF pamphlet that helped me to discover this website.
According to the Attain website:
http://attainfertility.com/article/iui-procedure
Are you considering the intrauterine insemination (IUI) procedure? The IUI procedure may help you get pregnant and take home a baby, particularly if you are dealing with infertility.
How the IUI procedure works
When you undergo the IUI procedure, you can expect to go through the following three steps:
Before the intrauterine insemination procedure, you will need to visit a fertility specialist and have a pre-IUI workup. With this workup, your doctor will check to see if you are in good health. The doctor will assess your hormone levels to see if they are in the normal range and check to see if your uterus can support a pregnancy.
Prior to the IUI procedure, your doctor may start you on ovulation drugs, while closely monitoring you with ultrasound and/or blood testing. This monitoring will confirm that you are producing healthy eggs. It will also help your doctor determine the best timing for the injection of the sperm.
You may also take another test that tells you when ovulation is about to happen. Right before ovulation, there is a surge in luteinizing hormone (LH). Ovulation occurs within 1-2 days after the LH surge. Your doctor will inject the sperm into your uterus at the optimal time for conception.
Preparing sperm for IUI
Your partner will give a sperm sample, which will be washed and prepared for the IUI procedure. This washing can remove potentially toxic chemicals possibly present in the sperm that your body may negatively react to.
These chemicals can sometimes cause an allergic reaction in women, which could hinder pregnancy. Washing the sperm may also minimize the cramping that sometimes occurs after the IUI procedure.
This washing and preparation process also concentrates the sperm into a high volume. This high concentration helps the healthiest, most mobile sperm to reach the egg. This helps to increase IUI success rates.
Inserting sperm during IUI
Injecting the prepared sperm into your uterus is quick and virtually painless. This part of the IUI procedure takes 1-2 hours at the most. Here is what to expect:
Some doctors perform two inseminations with the intrauterine insemination procedure. These are done within a day of each other.
Following the IUI procedureAbout a week after ovulation your doctor may have you come back to the office to check your progesterone levels. Your doctor will observe your uterine lining with an ultrasound at this time. By checking your uterine lining to see how thick it is, your doctor may have some clues as to whether the IUI procedure was effective.
The IUI procedure for male infertility
If male factor infertility issues are suspected before IUI, your partner will need a full male fertility evaluation, including a sperm analysis (SA), before you undergo the IUI procedure.
During this evaluation, a doctor will check your partner’s semen for sperm count and motility. If he has low sperm count, the doctor may ask him to give several semen samples that can be used during the IUI procedure. Having several samples will increase the number of sperm available and may improve your chances of IUI success.
Before giving a sperm sample, your partner will want to abstain from ejaculation for 2-3 days. This 2-3 day wait will maximize his sperm count, and help ensure that his sperm are healthy and mobile.
Get healthy before IUI
Practice healthy lifestyle habits when trying to conceive. To optimize your chances of a healthy pregnancy, get to a healthy weight and stop drinking, smoking and using other drugs.
Talk to your doctor to see if you should take a multivitamin, or make any other healthy lifestyle changes before starting the IUI procedure.
According to the Attain website:
http://attainfertility.com/article/iui-procedure
Are you considering the intrauterine insemination (IUI) procedure? The IUI procedure may help you get pregnant and take home a baby, particularly if you are dealing with infertility.
How the IUI procedure works
When you undergo the IUI procedure, you can expect to go through the following three steps:
- You may begin taking fertility drugs and your ovulation cycle will be monitored.
- Your partner will provide a sperm sample (or you will obtain donor sperm) that will be specially washed and prepared for the insemination.
- Your doctor will inject the prepared sperm into your uterus.
Before the intrauterine insemination procedure, you will need to visit a fertility specialist and have a pre-IUI workup. With this workup, your doctor will check to see if you are in good health. The doctor will assess your hormone levels to see if they are in the normal range and check to see if your uterus can support a pregnancy.
Prior to the IUI procedure, your doctor may start you on ovulation drugs, while closely monitoring you with ultrasound and/or blood testing. This monitoring will confirm that you are producing healthy eggs. It will also help your doctor determine the best timing for the injection of the sperm.
You may also take another test that tells you when ovulation is about to happen. Right before ovulation, there is a surge in luteinizing hormone (LH). Ovulation occurs within 1-2 days after the LH surge. Your doctor will inject the sperm into your uterus at the optimal time for conception.
Preparing sperm for IUI
Your partner will give a sperm sample, which will be washed and prepared for the IUI procedure. This washing can remove potentially toxic chemicals possibly present in the sperm that your body may negatively react to.
These chemicals can sometimes cause an allergic reaction in women, which could hinder pregnancy. Washing the sperm may also minimize the cramping that sometimes occurs after the IUI procedure.
This washing and preparation process also concentrates the sperm into a high volume. This high concentration helps the healthiest, most mobile sperm to reach the egg. This helps to increase IUI success rates.
Inserting sperm during IUI
Injecting the prepared sperm into your uterus is quick and virtually painless. This part of the IUI procedure takes 1-2 hours at the most. Here is what to expect:
- You will lie down on the exam table as you normally do for a pelvic exam.
- Your doctor will insert a very small, thin and flexible catheter into your cervix.
- The washed sperm sample is injected right into your uterus.
Some doctors perform two inseminations with the intrauterine insemination procedure. These are done within a day of each other.
Following the IUI procedureAbout a week after ovulation your doctor may have you come back to the office to check your progesterone levels. Your doctor will observe your uterine lining with an ultrasound at this time. By checking your uterine lining to see how thick it is, your doctor may have some clues as to whether the IUI procedure was effective.
The IUI procedure for male infertility
If male factor infertility issues are suspected before IUI, your partner will need a full male fertility evaluation, including a sperm analysis (SA), before you undergo the IUI procedure.
During this evaluation, a doctor will check your partner’s semen for sperm count and motility. If he has low sperm count, the doctor may ask him to give several semen samples that can be used during the IUI procedure. Having several samples will increase the number of sperm available and may improve your chances of IUI success.
Before giving a sperm sample, your partner will want to abstain from ejaculation for 2-3 days. This 2-3 day wait will maximize his sperm count, and help ensure that his sperm are healthy and mobile.
Get healthy before IUI
Practice healthy lifestyle habits when trying to conceive. To optimize your chances of a healthy pregnancy, get to a healthy weight and stop drinking, smoking and using other drugs.
Talk to your doctor to see if you should take a multivitamin, or make any other healthy lifestyle changes before starting the IUI procedure.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Detailed First Meeting
Tension hung heavy in the air. Heavy knots formed in my stomach and the cold, icy rain beat a steady rhythm outside. The mood for our exciting day began dauntingly.
I started this important day at six am. I sluggishly got up to head to work, followed by an eye appointment for Willie (where I picked up my wonderful new glasses), and ending with my final class right before Thanksgiving holiday. After class, I hurried to submit my holiday order for my Starbucks store before getting ready.
As I was getting ready, I took another shower (in my Willie voice). There is something about water that calms me. The shower is so tranquil. The cascading water helps to wash away all my fears, purify me, yet strengthen me for our time ahead. I could not decide on what to wear. I thought about the image I should portray. I wanted to go to the meeting looking professional and put together perfectly, but ultimately my true self won out. I dressed in a pink, white, and silver Aeropostale shirt with gray sweatpants and my multicolored rain boots (though predominately pink). I informed Willie that he would drive, but drove anyway because he drives way too slow especially when we are running late (which is always even to our own wedding!). The traffic was heavy and we arrived shy of 20 minutes early.
Upon arrival, we signed in, with Willie trudging off to a not so comfy seat and I surrendering my insurance card and license. I stood there to have my picture taken and then proceeded to fill out the many forms given to me. Among the forms were: a medical release, financial information of what my insurance covers, the policies of REACH, and the privacy practices of REACH. After those forms were completed, scanned, and given back to me, we proceeded to wait. Willie passed the time on his phone, while I passed the time watching HGTV on the waiting area television and avoiding eye contact. The couples in the waiting area were all mature and sophisticated. While we had showed up in our lazy day clothes, they were dressed to impress. These older couples had undoubtedly come from work. They looked like GQ and sexy Victoria Secret models dressed for the business world. I was uncomfortable. I wished I had given in to my urge for a good first impression. Feeling sorry for myself, we did not have to wait long, though it felt like eternity.
We were shown to exam room one. Here the nurse recorded my height, weight, blood pressure, pulse, allergies, and "social habits"(smoking, drinking, drug use, etc...). She also gave us more paperwork and briefly explained them. In this packet there was: information about genetic testing, telephone communication, a compassionate care program, and information on all the fertility treatments that REACH offers. After this, we were taken to another waiting area. It was here that I read over all the paperwork. Before we could move forward with treatment, we had to consent or decline the genetic testing, which was never given a thought. The genetic testing would be for cystic fibrosis (CF), spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), and fragile x syndrome. I pondered for a moment then asked Willie his opinion. He did not care and told me that we should go through with it. I on the other hand, felt that we did not need to. I did not want to know the potential hazards that we could pass on to our child. I wanted to simply make this experience as normal as possible. I wanted to be able to love our future, potential children without thinking about what conditions they would have. I read, read, and read some more until finally we were called into the doctor's office. Here the doctor went over our and our families' medical histories. He decided that I would need a pelvic exam and blood samples for TSH (and two other reasons that I can not remember at the moment), while Willie would need a semen analysis. After the tests were completed, we were able to check out and head into the cold, icy rain again towards home.
We did not make it home until seven. We made a pit stop by Buffalo Wild Wings. It was here we discussed our options and I shed a few tears. We talked about blame and whose fault it would be if we could not have children. I did not want to think about fault, because I did not care. I needed to identify the problem so that I could find a solution resulting in us pregnant. Willie thought that blame was important. He was weighing in on what would happen if it were his fault. I believe this thought originated after the doctor said that everything in my pelvic exam seemed fine. From the outside (or should I say inside), my side of the equation seemed perfect today (minus the blood work results). Though if I did have problems, there are multiple procedures, drugs, and even egg donation for solutions. The options for him are limited if it were to be his fault. If there is little sperm, then IUI (intra uterine insemination or artificial insemination) could be possible, where they take a sperm sample concentrate it and inject it right into my uterine cavity. The other two options, available if he has no viable sperm, is adoption or a sperm donor. It broke my heart to hear Willie discuss our options. I forced him to because he was only concentrated on taking things one step at a time, but I needed to know his thoughts, feelings, and expectations. He gave me an answer and I would give a thousand lives to take that moment back. He sounded so defeated, angry, and sad. Where was my strong, alpha husband? He was so passionate and felt that I was not listening and could not understand, but what he does not know is that I was listening. I was understanding too. I just could not bear to hear the pain in his voice discussing if it was him so I thought how I would give my life to start over again and have us be normal with children by now. Considering sperm donation and adoption, he talked about our child growing up. He discussed the fact that the child would not look like him and he could not determine the traits the child inherited because it would not be a part of him. I understood that so much. It hurt to know that he wanted a blood connection so bad, while I just needed a child. I know that I would carry the child though, so I could not understand the exact position he held. So I made a decision. I offered that if his test did come back with bad results, we would get a sperm donor, but I would also get a egg donor too. I did this because we are a team. I never want him to be alone, to suffer alone, or to think that he is fighting alone. I am his wife, his right hand person, his foundation, and the person catching him when he falls. He would not take my offer though, so I hope and I pray that these results will come back with good results. No matter what though, this future child will have wonderful parents. This child will question me, strut around just like Willie, and rival his father's humor and habit in making me produce my loud, embarrassing laughter. No matter what, this child will be a part of both of us in so many ways and most of all he or she will be OURS! I think of this child and us raising him or her with unconditional love.
I started this important day at six am. I sluggishly got up to head to work, followed by an eye appointment for Willie (where I picked up my wonderful new glasses), and ending with my final class right before Thanksgiving holiday. After class, I hurried to submit my holiday order for my Starbucks store before getting ready.
As I was getting ready, I took another shower (in my Willie voice). There is something about water that calms me. The shower is so tranquil. The cascading water helps to wash away all my fears, purify me, yet strengthen me for our time ahead. I could not decide on what to wear. I thought about the image I should portray. I wanted to go to the meeting looking professional and put together perfectly, but ultimately my true self won out. I dressed in a pink, white, and silver Aeropostale shirt with gray sweatpants and my multicolored rain boots (though predominately pink). I informed Willie that he would drive, but drove anyway because he drives way too slow especially when we are running late (which is always even to our own wedding!). The traffic was heavy and we arrived shy of 20 minutes early.
Upon arrival, we signed in, with Willie trudging off to a not so comfy seat and I surrendering my insurance card and license. I stood there to have my picture taken and then proceeded to fill out the many forms given to me. Among the forms were: a medical release, financial information of what my insurance covers, the policies of REACH, and the privacy practices of REACH. After those forms were completed, scanned, and given back to me, we proceeded to wait. Willie passed the time on his phone, while I passed the time watching HGTV on the waiting area television and avoiding eye contact. The couples in the waiting area were all mature and sophisticated. While we had showed up in our lazy day clothes, they were dressed to impress. These older couples had undoubtedly come from work. They looked like GQ and sexy Victoria Secret models dressed for the business world. I was uncomfortable. I wished I had given in to my urge for a good first impression. Feeling sorry for myself, we did not have to wait long, though it felt like eternity.
We were shown to exam room one. Here the nurse recorded my height, weight, blood pressure, pulse, allergies, and "social habits"(smoking, drinking, drug use, etc...). She also gave us more paperwork and briefly explained them. In this packet there was: information about genetic testing, telephone communication, a compassionate care program, and information on all the fertility treatments that REACH offers. After this, we were taken to another waiting area. It was here that I read over all the paperwork. Before we could move forward with treatment, we had to consent or decline the genetic testing, which was never given a thought. The genetic testing would be for cystic fibrosis (CF), spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), and fragile x syndrome. I pondered for a moment then asked Willie his opinion. He did not care and told me that we should go through with it. I on the other hand, felt that we did not need to. I did not want to know the potential hazards that we could pass on to our child. I wanted to simply make this experience as normal as possible. I wanted to be able to love our future, potential children without thinking about what conditions they would have. I read, read, and read some more until finally we were called into the doctor's office. Here the doctor went over our and our families' medical histories. He decided that I would need a pelvic exam and blood samples for TSH (and two other reasons that I can not remember at the moment), while Willie would need a semen analysis. After the tests were completed, we were able to check out and head into the cold, icy rain again towards home.
We did not make it home until seven. We made a pit stop by Buffalo Wild Wings. It was here we discussed our options and I shed a few tears. We talked about blame and whose fault it would be if we could not have children. I did not want to think about fault, because I did not care. I needed to identify the problem so that I could find a solution resulting in us pregnant. Willie thought that blame was important. He was weighing in on what would happen if it were his fault. I believe this thought originated after the doctor said that everything in my pelvic exam seemed fine. From the outside (or should I say inside), my side of the equation seemed perfect today (minus the blood work results). Though if I did have problems, there are multiple procedures, drugs, and even egg donation for solutions. The options for him are limited if it were to be his fault. If there is little sperm, then IUI (intra uterine insemination or artificial insemination) could be possible, where they take a sperm sample concentrate it and inject it right into my uterine cavity. The other two options, available if he has no viable sperm, is adoption or a sperm donor. It broke my heart to hear Willie discuss our options. I forced him to because he was only concentrated on taking things one step at a time, but I needed to know his thoughts, feelings, and expectations. He gave me an answer and I would give a thousand lives to take that moment back. He sounded so defeated, angry, and sad. Where was my strong, alpha husband? He was so passionate and felt that I was not listening and could not understand, but what he does not know is that I was listening. I was understanding too. I just could not bear to hear the pain in his voice discussing if it was him so I thought how I would give my life to start over again and have us be normal with children by now. Considering sperm donation and adoption, he talked about our child growing up. He discussed the fact that the child would not look like him and he could not determine the traits the child inherited because it would not be a part of him. I understood that so much. It hurt to know that he wanted a blood connection so bad, while I just needed a child. I know that I would carry the child though, so I could not understand the exact position he held. So I made a decision. I offered that if his test did come back with bad results, we would get a sperm donor, but I would also get a egg donor too. I did this because we are a team. I never want him to be alone, to suffer alone, or to think that he is fighting alone. I am his wife, his right hand person, his foundation, and the person catching him when he falls. He would not take my offer though, so I hope and I pray that these results will come back with good results. No matter what though, this future child will have wonderful parents. This child will question me, strut around just like Willie, and rival his father's humor and habit in making me produce my loud, embarrassing laughter. No matter what, this child will be a part of both of us in so many ways and most of all he or she will be OURS! I think of this child and us raising him or her with unconditional love.
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