I got the blues. Not just the baby blues either. I'm sad all the way around. We pushed back our date for the IUI so that we could save some more money. Money is very important. In my opinion it makes the world go around so if there is no money, there is little we can do. I would feel more comfortable with a substantial amount already saved up. Our new month is May. It'll be sometime after mother's day and then the oh so long 2 week wait. We are looking for a June confirmation if everything is successful. I was so impatient but now I'm ready to wait.
The center and majority of my blues concerns a family member. I found out yesterday that my auntie, my only auntie has breast cancer. Never in a million years would I think this could happen. What do I say, what do I do, how do I act? I keep asking why and how long? I have hope though in the treatments: chemo and possibly surgery. My pessimistic side is trying hard to win. This side makes it seems as if it is a death sentence. I know that there is a possibility of surviving and I plan on fighting with her. I want to stop crying. I want to be strong but this is one difficult battle. We had a celebration for her birthday yesterday. I cried a little, but I stayed strong. I know that happiness and laughter is needed so I plan to deliver both. I want to cherish these moments in case there will be no more. I want these blues to go away.......
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